In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims

In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims

We yearn to experience the idealized love in so many novels, movies, poems, and popular songs. Ironically, it is the idealization of love that arms it with its destructive power. Popular media consistently remind us that love is all we need, but statistics concerning the rate of depression and suicides after divorce or romantic break up remind us what might happen if "all that we need" is taken away. This book is about our ideals of love, our experiences of love, the actual disparity between the two, and the manners of coping with this disparity.L A major study case of the book concerns men who have murdered their wives or partners allegedly "out of love." It is estimated that over 30% of all female murder victims in the United States die at the hands of former or present spouses or boyfriends. How can murdering a loved one be associated with the assumed moral and altruistic love? Not only is love intrinsically ambivalent, but it can also give rise to dangerous consequences. Some of the worst evils have been committed in the name of love.L A unique collaboration between a leading philosopher in the field of emotions and a social scientist, In the Name of Love presents fascinating insights into romantic love and it's future in modern society. "There have been quite a few books on love recently - we're talking romantic love, erotic love, passionate love - and some have been very good. This book by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky may be the best yet. It starts with the longings that so many people experience, it acknowledges the altruism of love, and it takes in interviews with men who murdered their wives. This perspective, beautifully written, and fascinating book will make you think."--Keith Oatley, University of Toronto, author of Emotions: A Brief History "The authors have stripped bare the paradoxes at the heart of our ideals of romantic love. They begin by showing that wife-killers talk just like saccharine pop tunes about love eternal, and that their crime is more than the unfortunate effect of escalating passion. Instead, murder in the name of love stems from a kind of fundamentalism in the ideology of love. This is a shockingly fresh take on an ancient topic, and it makes for a fascinating read. In a time when the possibility of enduring romantic relationships has deteriorated, In the Name of Love offers a novel account of the ideology of romantic love, its surprising staying power, and the prospects for its recuperation."--Ronald de Sousa, University of Toronto "Were we lied to by our love songs? Philosopher Aaron Ben Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky look at the contemporary beliefs about romantic love that saturate our poems, movies, books and minds; then they show us the true face of this intoxicating, yet extreme, sometimes even murderous, emotion. Their aims: to revise our basic attitudes about this primordial feeling; to reveal it's power and it's danger; and to offer a new approach to understanding, getting and giving love. It's educated, realistic and smart."-- Helen Fisher PhD, Research Professor, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University, and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love "In this book, [the authors] provide a broad and varied insight into how people cope with the disparity between idealised and experienced love. Innovatively titling each chapter with romantic song lyrics contextualises this largely theoretical book, creating a lively and relatable read. [Ben-Ze'ev and Goussinsky] have successfully created a work that is sufficiently detailed and yet pitched at an appropriate level for novices. In summary the fresh perspective and innovative format adopted by [the authors] means In the Name of Love is an excellent starting point for those beginning research in this area."-- The Psychologist In the Name of Love presents a fascinating insight into this most complex and perhaps dangerous aspects of human nature. Professor Aaron Ben-Ze'ev, the President of the University of Haifa, is Professor of Philosophy. He earned his doctorate at the University of Chicago (1981). He has served as Rector, Dean of Research, Chairperson of the Department of Philosophy, Head of the Haifa University Press, and Head of the Academic Channel. His research focuses upon the philosophy of psychology and especially the study of emotions. He is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions. He has written many books and articles on these topics including: The Perceptual System (Peter Lang, 1993).The Subtlety of Emotions (MIT Press, 2000), and Love Online: Emotions on the Internet (Cambridge University Press, 2003). Ruhama Goussinsky, Ph.D, is a lecturer in the Human Service Department in Emek Ysreel College and Haifa University in Israel. She wrote her doctorate on men who murdered their female partners and has participated in the National Survey on Violence Against Women in Israel.