Married to Me: How Committing to Myself Led to Triumph After Divorce

Married to Me: How Committing to Myself Led to Triumph After Divorce

Former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres shares her secrets for a happy, fulfilling life after divorce. After her divorce from superstar singer Marc Anthony, Dayanara Torres learned firsthand how to handle the challenges of starting over and creating a healthy environment for her two sons and herself. The most important lesson she learned is that the commitment a woman makes to herself is just as important as the commitment she makes to her spouse on their wedding day. Dayanara vowed to honor and respect herself, and in Married to Me she helps other women do the same. Dayanara walks women through the critical stages of redefining life after a marriage ends: accepting, rebuilding, and rediscovering happiness and the self. With compassion and encouragement, she offers honest advice, personal mantras, and insightful tips on family, lifestyle, beauty, and health—so that women can move beyond the pain, set a new family dynamic, discover new passions, and build new relationships. Like Dayanara, readers will discover a life after divorce that is beyond their wildest dreams. ?People get divorced, and one family hates the other and talks badly about them. I want absolutely none of that?It didn?t work out, move on?Just because things don?t happen the way you planned, the world hasn?t ended. It's really the beginning of a wonderful new adventure.? ?Dayanara Torres, in "People" aPeople get divorced, and one family hates the other and talks badly about them. I want absolutely none of thata]It didnat work out, move ona]Just because things donat happen the way you planned, the world hasnat ended. Itas really the beginning of a wonderful new adventure.a aDayanara Torres, in "People" A young beauty queen raised in small town of Toa Alta, Puerto Rico, Dayanara Torres was named Miss Universe in 1993. After winning the crown, she internationally acted in movies and TV shows, and released the album "Antifaz," which reached the top of the Billboard charts in Latin America and the Phillipines. In 2000, she married singer Marc Anthony; the couple divorced in 2004. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her two sons, Cristian and Ryan, and is involved in a whirlwind of lucrative projects in acting, modeling, endorsements, and commercials. OPENING LETTER FROM DAYANARA I remember thinking, over and over again, what a shame it was that I wasted that dress. I know it was a silly thing to mourn, but it was so much easier than mourning the heavy things, my marriage, for instance. But it was a great dress. It was exactly the kind of dress I used to describe to my sister, Jeannette Torres-Alvarez, whom I refer to as Jinny, all of those afternoons after school when we spent countless teenage hours discussing weddings, boys, and bridesmaids. Of course, we never discussed breakups, divorces, or what to wear to a settlement hearing, but Lord knows we have spent countless adult hours discussing these very topics. Jinny is a mental-health counselor with several degrees and years of practice under her belt, and don't think I didn't take advantage of all of this. Throughout my divorce, she was my stability, my best friend, and my on-hand therapist. Luckily for me, she wasn't charging—my Lord, that would have been a huge bill. Jinny is the one with all of the experience, and she has read all of the books. Me, I never made it past the first few pages. I tried, I promise you. I went to every bookstore in the neighborhood and sought out that small, sad "divorce section." Even though the last thing I wanted was to read a book about divorce, I stood there, leafing through each cold, boring, depressing book. I bought a few anyway, to show that I was making an effort, I guess. I added them to my bookshelf and then never opened them again. All I wanted was a book that was warm, conversational, even a little funny. Something that would help lighten all the pain I was feeling. The last thing I wanted to do was open up a textbook on divorce. I needed a sort of "girlfriends' guide to divorce," that would give me mantras, anecdotes, and some personal insight as to what I would be going through...but it didn't exist. So I decided to write it. I pulled Jinny into the fray (as usual). She is the one with the degrees, and I am the one with the divorce papers—together we make a good writing team. Throughout this book, I will present you with personal situations and advice, and Jinny will give you the professional lowdown. I have also peppered the text with my favorite quotes, which I collected in a notebook throughout my divorce. We hope that through our advice, anecdotes, stories, and quotes, we can both guide and inspire you. This is not a book about encouraging divorce. It is a book about encouraging your relationship with yourself (whether that self is divorced or not). This is the book I would have loved to find between the self-help and the sociology sections! It would have been a lot more helpful and constructive than all of the countless Lifetime m