Hold Still

Hold Still

An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide, from a breakthrough new voice in YA fiction dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t. Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself.   Grade 10 Up—After losing her best friend, Ingrid, to suicide, Caitlin is completely immobilized. Unable to function, and refusing to visit a therapist, she begins the long journey to wellness alone. During this year of heart-wrenching, raw emotion, Caitlin finds Ingrid's journal, which not only reveals her descent into irreversible depression, but also serves as Caitlin's vehicle for renewed hope in the future. The book is written with honesty, revealing one's pain after the loss of a loved one. Caitlin learns, with the help of new friends and her parents, that there is life after Ingrid.— Sharon Morrison, Southeastern Oklahoma State University, Durant, OK Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Praise for Hold Still :   YALSA Best Books for Young Adults (2010); 2010 William C. Morris Honor Book   “LaCour makes an impressive debut with an emotionally charged young adult novel about friendship and loss.” – Publishers Weekly , starred review** “LaCour strikes a new path through a familiar story, leading readers with her confident writing and savvy sense of prose.” – Kirkus “The book is written with honesty, revealing one's pain after the loss of a loved one.” –School Library Journal “A fresh voice to the world of young adult literature.” –VOYA , starred review** Nina LaCour (www.ninalacour.com) is the author of the award-winning  Hold Still  and widely acclaimed  The Disenchantments . Formerly a bookseller and high school English teacher, she now writes and parents full time. A San Francisco Bay Area native, Nina lives with her family in Oakland, California.   Her best friend is gone . . .but she left something behind. I get down on the carpet to look under my bed. I stick my arm under and feel around, find a couple mismatched socks, and something I don’t recognize—hard and flat and dusty. I pull it out, thinking maybe it’s a yearbook from elementary school, and then I see it and my heart stops. Ingrid’s journal. For some reason, I feel afraid. It’s like I’m split down the middle and one half of me wants to open it more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything. The other half is so scared. I can’t stop shaking. Did it get kicked under the bed one night by accident? Did she hide it? I stare at it in my hands forever, just feeling its weight, looking at the place where one Wite-Out wing is starting to flake off. Then, once my hands are steadied, I open to the first page. It’s a drawing of her face—yellow hair; blue eyes; small, crooked smile. She’s looking straight ahead. Birds fly across the background. She drew them blurry, to show movement, and across the top she wrote, Me on a Sunday Morning. I turn the page. As I read, I can hear Ingrid’s voice, hushed and fast, like she’s telling me secrets. OTHER BOOKS YOU MAY ENJOY After Amy Efaw Because I Am Furniture Thalia Chaltas The Disenchantments Nina LaCour Everything Leads to You Nina LaCour If I Stay Gayle Forman Just Listen Sarah Dessen Looking for Alaska John Green Paper Towns John Green The Truth About Forever Sarah Dessen Where She Went Gayle Forman Willow Julia Hoban Wintergirls Laurie Halse Anderson Table of Contents   Her best friend is gone . . .but she left something behind Other Books You May Enjoy Title Page Copyright Page Dedication   summer Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6   fall Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33   winter Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19   spring Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 C