Bill The Vampire: A Vampire Horror Comedy (The Tome of Bill)

Bill The Vampire: A Vampire Horror Comedy (The Tome of Bill)

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM. My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life - and not because I program video games or play D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out on the floor with my throat torn open. Problem is, I didn't stay dead. I'm simply not that lucky. Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger, faster, and a hell of a lot better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me. It might be because he can't control me like he can the others. Or maybe it's because he's a dick. Either way, he's given me just ninety days to prove I'm not a total embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast. I'll need help, though, if I want to survive. Too bad my living friends are more interested in setting me on fire while Sally's obviously just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is. Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but somehow I'm still at the bottom of the food chain. ---------- Bill The Vampire is book one of The Tome of Bill , the quintessential vampire comedy series.Perfect for fans of Shayne Silvers, Steve McHugh, Jim Butcher, and What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from start to finish. Don't miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to sink your teeth into a world of undead mayhem and gut-busting humor. Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor "Many times, I found myself smiling if not outright chuckling at the witty one-liners that his characters presented as well as the situations that they found themselves in as the story unfolded." - J.L. Whitehead from Examiner.com " Rick Gualtieri brings something to the vampire genre that has not been seen before and I love it!" "There are many parts throughout the series that had me cracking up " "I would definitely suggest this to those who like raunchy, nerdy, vampire stories. As in, go read and/or listen to this! " "This is freaking hilarious! " "His quips and remarks remind me of Ash from Army of Darkness or Jack Burton from John Carpenters Big Trouble in Little China ." "The characters are amazing , the writing is solid, and the books have had me laughing out loud at times." "This is one of the funniest thing I have ever read. I had tears running down my face. " "I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating here, but it's been a while that I've been this excited after reading a first book in a new urban fantasy series ." "If this doesn't get turned into a movie I will give up on Hollywood forever." Rick Gualtieri loves adventure, snarky dialogue, and mayhem. So it's only natural that his bestselling Tome of Bill series kicks the mired status quo of vampire fiction straight in the teeth with its mix of supernatural chaos and geeky humor. It's time to make fantasy fun again. Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them - Defilers Beware!