The Side Effects of Dying: A Memoir of Illness, Identity, and the Search for Meaning at the Edge of Life

The Side Effects of Dying: A Memoir of Illness, Identity, and the Search for Meaning at the Edge of Life

The Side Effects of Dying is a lyrical and unflinching memoir by therapist Cheli Lange, exploring the slow unraveling—and unexpected gifts—of watching someone you love die. Blending personal story, professional insight, and hard-won wisdom, Lange writes with fierce compassion and searing honesty about the messy, beautiful, and often silent moments that surround loss. This book doesn’t offer easy answers. Instead, it keeps you company like a trusted friend—whether you’re grieving, caregiving, or trying to make peace with the past. For fans of When Breath Becomes Air and The Bright Hour , this is not just a story about saying goodbye—it’s about finding meaning, connection, and even transformation in the midst of sorrow. Perfect for anyone navigating illness, grief, or the longing to reconnect before it’s too late. "Everyone who is terminally ill dies as they lived, and Cheli Lange's mother, "Gaga," is no exception; loving, graceful, strong-willed, and stoic. 'There will be no talk of my illness. There will be no crying,' she demands of her daughter as family gathers for her final days. 'Yeah, that's not going to work for us,' explains Cheli, only child, primary caregiver, and licensed professional counselor. Will this tension resolve -- will truth, compassion, and love overcome the conflicts and grief confronted by this -- and every -- family facing a beloved member's death? Read on. Ms. Lange's plain-spoken, emotionally-bare, and always honest narrative takes us to transformation we did not expect -- with lessons for us all." —Joseph Sacco, MD, Chief Medical Officer, Connecticut Hospice; Assistant Professor of Medicine, Yale School of Medicine "Facing the loss of a loved one with wit and wonder, this life-giving memoir will make you laugh—and just might make you live more fully. Reading these stories helped me strengthen my relationship with my own mom while being more mindful of the way I'm raising my daughter." —Andrew Tarvin, CEO, Humor That Works "Through the beautiful and honest rendering of her mother's last stage of life, Cheli invites us into the often dreaded topic of dying in a way that fills the heart and challenges the reader to look within for the value of clarity, love, and connection." —Laurie Roberts, Ph.D, Grief and Loss Therapist "An elegant illustration of interdependence. Cheli's deep exploration of care for self and others offers an open-hearted view into how she's practiced this difficult balancing act in her own life." —Stephen Diana, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist; Author of Of Leaf, Wing, and Water "In her mother's last days, Cheli's loving questions, dialogue, and humor brought their relationship to a beautiful apex and serves as an example for those yearning to connect with a loved one." —Beth Schave-Bemis, Gerontologist; Senior Living Professional and Executive Coach "Cheli Lange's The Side Effects of Dying is at once an adult daughter's love-letter-eulogy to her mom and an essential guidebook for self-reflection and growth amid the joys and challenges of family and relationship." —Reggie Marra, author of Healing America's Narratives: The Feminine, the Masculine, & Our Collective National Shadow and Enough with the Talking Points: Doing More Good Than Harm in Conversation